


Adjust...

by thiective



Series: Mistakes... [2]
Category: X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied or mention characters, M/M, Sakura Tree of Ueno Park being a silent sentient, Somewhat a sequel to Mistakes, different places in Japan cause author visited those places before, in which the star marks makes the prey connected to the predator emotionally one-sided, two part chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2018-11-10 08:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11123877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiective/pseuds/thiective
Summary: Summary: Correcting a mistake is difficult, adjusting isn't. Subaru and a Kamui with few memories missing, and others attested to that.A/N: Yeah, remember how I made 'Mistakes...'? This is also on the fly as well. X/1999 belongs to CLAMP. I own no one but one character in the story. Sumeragi Sotaru.Note: Thought I should update you guys on it, so yeah, here you go oiyukis and Darkest_Symphony. Orignially 2 parts, has now been extended to multi due to so much writing. Ugh.





	1. Seven Years

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oiyukis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oiyukis/gifts), [Darkest_Symphony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkest_Symphony/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short snippets over the seven years Kamui and Subaru went through, with friends mostly with Kamui...

_1st Year - Tokyo_

"Shiyuu-san, was there anyone near me when you found me at Ueno Park?" Kusanagi blinks, glanced away from Yuzuriha and Inuki just for a moment to look at a nineteen-year-old Kamui. Kamui's gaze never left Yuzuriha or Inuki, watchful over his friend. Kusanagi frowns in a conflicted thoughts, he remembers seeing a Sakurazukamori with a mixture of sad and pained expression kneeling over an unconscious Kamui but nothing else. Except for one thing though.

"No, why?" Perhaps it's best to lie. Kamui hums a bit.

"It's weird, but I keep getting the feeling I was being watched." Kusanagi straightens, hairs standing on his neck and eyes peering from the corner of his eyes for the tall slender figure in black with mismatched eyes.

None.

Still though, now that Kamui pointed it out, Kusanagi begins to have a feeling that he's being watched as well. Yuzuriha and Inuki had been oblivious to it.

"You still remember nothing as to how you woke up from that coma." The former leader of Ten No Ryu shook his head in a 'no'.

"I don't, I remember being grateful though." Kusanagi softly intakes his breath, none of the surviving Ryus wanted to tell about the pentagram marks on Kamui's hands. Having forced the confused Kamui to wear gloves that conceals his aura and they begged, pleaded, not to take it off. In a concerned nod, Kamui agreed.

It still doesn't erase the unease inside of Kusanagi.

* * *

 

Guilt racks in the older man's lean body. He did nothing but brood over the fact that he just signed a death sentence for the one person that ever mattered in this world now. The number of body counts piled up in time, and nothing can erase the self-loathing over the fact what he had done.

The Tree for that matter is curious and waiting for what's to come after six years were over.

* * *

 

_2nd Year - Okinawa_

Okinawa was said to be one of the most haunted islands in the world. That said, it also houses a beautiful aquarium and one such trip, a Kigai Yuuto drags an unwilling Kamui to there to relax all the way from Tokyo.

"Why are we here again?" Kamui asks in an annoyed voice to which the water master laughs off smoothly.

"Just getting yourself relaxed. You've been all stiff from the final exams. This is your last semester, right?" Yuuto said as he continues to drag Kamui to the Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium

"Yeah, well I still don't understand as to why do I need to wear these gloves even in a place this warm?" Yuuto's smile becomes a little strained.

"It's a fashion trend. See, I'm wearing a pair." The blond man was wearing a pair of leather gloves. Kamui looks unconvinced.

"Even when I had to sleep?" There was a doubtful silence.

"Uh yeah." Another bout of silence, before Kamui sighs. Relently.

"Fine, just because you are dating Karen-san, doesn't mean I should tolerate you." Kamui said and he ignores the beaming smile on the other's face.

* * *

He panics. He couldn't find _him_! He searches every building in Tokyo! Even using the tree's Maborashi to cloak himself and sneak and blend in CLAMP Campus. No sign of him. He briefly contemplates a thought, a belief, that _he_ had left the country and found someone to spent _his_ entire life with before disappearing off the face of the Earth from his hand. Something inside of him screams in denial, that the other couldn't,  _wouldn't_ abandon him to this fate.

Still, he frets because the Tree shows no signs of changes of whether  _his_ prey has moved or not.

Almost like it drowns in sadistic amusement of watching it's puppet worries over something he doesn't know what he's worried about. Or why he should even be worried about.

* * *

_3rd Year - Osaka_

This time it was Arashi who brought him to Osaka to see the fireworks near Osaka Castle. That was after visiting Sorata's temple in the mountains. He shivers at the cold feeling he gets near the majestic castle. While it's beautiful and has a history that wows the numerous tourists that visit, he still couldn't shake as to why the castle itself feels sacred.

"Kamui? Is everything alright?" Arashi asks in her pink kimono with a maple leaf design, while Kamui is donned in his blue yukata with a koi pattern.

"I'm fine, I'm sorry about Sorata." Arashi stares at him, and a melancholy smile spreads on her face.

"It's been a few years hasn't?" Kamui doesn't voice out the change of subject as she didn't voice out about Fuuma, actually, he lets it.

"Yeah, it's been six years." The flash of color glow and a sound of boom echoes in the night sky catches their attention. Colorful circles and orchids in gold, green and red lights spread across the sky before fading with smoke left behind. The green and gold colour looks familiar to him and for a while, he doesn't hear sounds of fireworks anymore nor the voice of Arashi calling out to him. Just his mind thinking...

_I wonder if he's seeing the same sky I'm seeing..._

Someone shakes his shoulder, snapping him out of the daze. Worried brown eyes look at him, narrowing as to pinpoint the cause of his daydream. What has he been thinking? He feels a little lightheaded...

"Kamui?" He catches his forehead with a gloved hand and kneads his forehead with his fingers.

"Arashi, was there someone with us when I got trapped by Fuuma? Do you know who rescued me?" Arashi doesn't say anything for a while, and she knows that she wants to say yes but it'll burden his mind far more.

"No, it was just Sorata and me." A fibe, just this once, in order to keep Kamui safe from the Tree. Arashi and Sorata are the most logical reason as to how they got Kamui to safety after freeing him, even if that story feels paper thin on their tongue and through their lips. However, Kamui believes them and their lies.

* * *

Sleepless nights crawls through his soul, green and gold stares at the Tree and he raises his hand to raise the lock open slightly before pain shoots through him and the lock abruptly slams shuts!

He snarls at the Tree. It was one of the options that he had left to try and find  _him_ ,  _locate_ him to bring a sense of relief!

The Tree mockingly waves him at in the wind, wagging it's twigs as if to say no cheating.

How can he sleep dreamlessly when he doesn't know  _where_   **he** went?!

* * *

_4th Year_ \- Hakodate

Hakodate feels peaceful enough, it's one of the few places in where his group of friends are feeling its safe for him to go alone. He was visiting Keiichi from the train station, and its where a man with green eyes runs into Kamui. Raven hair fringes nearly over the man's eyes, but they narrow in a thoughtful gaze.

"Magami?" There can't be any way for the other to know who is related to him. Amethyst eyes look at the man in surprise.

"Tokiko-san?" The man tries again, and Kamui sighs. No, he doesn't want to remember the despair of the birth of the Shinken or how the body of his aunt strewn apart with blood linking the pieces of the person that stood on the footsteps of Monou Shrine. He manages a grimace.

"I'm sorry." The man with green eyes closed his eyes, a pained and closed off expression filters over the man's face.  _Strange, I know a face like that_.

"She knew, didn't she?" The question itself is vague, Kamui isn't sure whether it's about the fact that his aunt knew she'll die giving birth to a god's weapon or to that she was fated for it. The man's silence stems more, and Kamui hesitates before saying anything.

"Yes," He's not going to sugarcoat it. "she knew." The man let out a sigh.

"I don't know my aunt much, but would you like to join me for coffee so we can talk about her?" Green eyes look at Kamui, familiar green eyes, and the former leader of the Ten No Ryu feels a sense of deja vu. The gentle smile should have clicked, should have brought in clues, but it doesn't.

"That'll be nice. What's your name?" The man with the gentle smile asks with a hand raised.

"Shirou Kamui. What's yours?" The man's smile only widens.

"Sumeragi Sotaru." Kamui blinks, and almost frowns thoughtfully. He felt that he heard a familiarity with the name itself. Not Sotaru. He doesn't recall. Sumeragi brings something inside of him. Mix emotions swirl inside of him and he feels a smile spread, but the deep understanding and the quieted emotions of sadness and yearning ripples in his body.

"Shirou-san, are you alright? You're crying." Kamui blinks, and he reaches a part of his face to feel warm water slid down to his fingers. He didn't notice he was crying. He quickly wipes it away.

"I didn't notice, sorry." He also didn't notice that Sotaru's eyes kept on looking at his gloves, who barely manages to keep the frown off his own face. He knows those gloves and what they were for.

"It's fine."

* * *

He inhales a gasp as he feels a wave of emotions washes over him. It was after a kill when that wave of emotions hit him. It was a brief minute, and eyes widening. It was  _him_! Those emotions, understanding, sadness, yearning, and the last one is hard to define but it's definitely  _him!_

He wants to cry, he wants to laugh hysterically of relief, he wants to kill himself. Cause now he knows the other is ok, that he hasn't left at all, but he doesn't want the other to be him! Damn it on the other's conscience!

Why couldn't  _he_ just leave him alone?

He doesn't want to dwell as to why that question alone bothers him the most.

* * *

_5th Year - Hokkaido_

Kaze cheered at the snow continues falling, her father joins her on the sled and rides with her down the snowy hill. Her blond hair and magenta eyes will very much cause everyone to look at her with awe and curiosity. Her mother and godfather are watching through the glass window from the cafeteria.

"Thank you for coming, Kamui. I know it must be hard for you to be separated from your duties as clan heir." Karen said to the young man, who just quietly smiles.

"It's fine, I wouldn't miss it for the world. I've asked some people to handle it while I'm away." Kamui replies. It was still surprisingly easy to believe that Yuuto and Karen got engaged and decided to marry two years ago. Now with a child, Kaze has all the males wrapped in her little finger. One surprise after another, Yuuto had asked Kamui to be the godfather to their daughter.

That had floored him.

"How are you and Sotaru-san?" Kamui's hand tightened on the porcelain mug, he doesn't want to think about the other. Not now.

"I know that I'm selfish to say that I don't want to think about it, but at the same time I'll have to address it anyway." The fire mistress gently takes her longtime friend's hands gently, easing their grip on the mug and placing it on the table.

"He is the Fourteenth head of the Sumeragi Clan, isn't he?" Kamui sighs.

"He'll eventually have to marry someone." He shouldn't feel bitter about it, but the subject left a sour taste on his tongue.

"Are you jealous of him?" Kamui's eyes widen at this. Was he jealous? No, he wasn't...

"I'm not jealous, it's just..." Karen frowns at this. Maybe next year, it'll be the time to say the truth.

"...it should've been someone else there saying that." There was a wistful speck in Kamui's words. Sotaru, in a matter of a year, had grown to love Kamui as more than a friend. Had confessed in the begins of autumn and end of summer.

_"I love you, I don't care if you don't! Just please consider me!"_

Kamui didn't know what to say then, and he didn't what to say now at hearing that confession. A part of him that cherishes Sotaru was there to say yes, to take the chance. A large of part of him filled with graves of lost loves felt uncertain. Was it too soon?

"You have to tell Sotaru-san someday." Karen said motherly, and Kamui nods reluctantly. He doesn't want to ruin the family vacation. When the vacation ends and he's safe in his apartment in Harajuku, he dials a number and hits a call on his cellphone.

" _Hello?_ " Kamui closes his eyes.

"Hey, Sotaru. Can we talk?"

* * *

He feels it again, another wave of emotions. Unlike the last time, this wave was stronger and he can taste it on his tongue. Regret, self-loathing, and frustration hit him and encompasses him that he nearly swallows at how heavy it felt.

 _He_ 's nearby.

 _He_ 's in Tokyo.

 ** _He_ 's** hurt.

The last thought sends an alarming wave of panic and he nearly flies into the direction of where the emotions come from, or where they felt in the most dense when sadness mix with another emotion near cripples him.

Mismatched eyes widening at the magnitude of emotions sweeping into him, and as soon as he steps out of Ueno Park in a haste, the emotions recedes into a tightly lid bottle that doesn't open.

He  _lost_ the beacon for where his prey is.

Frustrated, he goes out for another kill. Anything to make the Tree stop shaking it's branches like it's laughing at him.

If he had went south west, he would have met with a man leaning against his balcony rail and looking at the world below in a forlorn expression.

* * *

_6th Year - Aomori_

It's April, and the Kurosaki Park is a bloom of white cherry blossoms and falling petals. It makes a beautiful scene, and even more enchanting at night for those that deigned to have a wedding photos taken or ceremony.

Kamui never thought he saw white sakuras of this magnitude, and it was breathtaking. Enough to take off his mind of resigned acceptance spoken by an admirer of last year. Casual clothes, the group of former Ryus sans one steps into the park with wide eyes and awe.

"These are beautiful." Yuzuriha said, and Yuuto withhold a shudder. He knew of the previous Sakurazukamori and what he does. What the current Sakurazukamori does with his current power is a speculation that Yuuto doesn't want find out.

"Mm, prefect for a wedding. Right, Shiyuu-san?" Kusanagi chokes at his amazake from Arashi's comment.

"Aw, don't be so shy Kusanagi-san. Yuzuriha-chan would be overjoyed to hear that, wouldn't you?" Karen twittered, but Yuzuriha doesn't seem to hear them as she dances underneath the white falling petals with a full grown Inuki following behind her and pulling Kamui along with her.

"It's almost time." Yuuto softly whispers to Karen, her hand slips into his and she doesn't want to ruin Kamui's brief happiness with them. Doesn't want Kamui to lock himself up in his apartment if he had won, or to think that they might be visiting a grave the year later. She squeezes Yuuto's hand and god it hurts, because these past six years of their lives with Kamui had been the best days of their lives. For both Kamui and theirs.

"I know." Yuuto hand thumbs the back of her hand, brings it up to kiss the band of gold on her ring finger. Kusanagi grimaces and Arashi's face grows somber.

"We all want him to be happy. To smile and laugh." Arashi said softly, feels a sad smile spread across her lips and watching Yuzuriha making a flower crown before putting it on Kamui. He blushed slightly from embarrassment.

"Did you know that sometime two years ago, he stopped asking questions about his missing memories?" Kusanagi asks quietly, Arashi lets out a sigh.

"I know he wants to ask, but I think he knows how much it pains us to say the truth." Arashi said, until next May, they'll eventually have to lead Kamui to the answers he seeks. About the whispering memories of a person he holds close to and taken up the center of it without he or Sotaru even realizing it.

"Let's make the best of it, and be there for him whenever he needs us." Yuuto said quietly.

* * *

Fireworks of violet and blue and green and gold blooms across the night sky over the sea. You can see the fascination of color explosions painting over the night sky if you are over in the newly built Rainbow Bridge. He feels nothing but content, the faint peace and happiness washes over him. They weren't his own emotions, but the  _others_. He stands from atop of a building to watch the bright lights of explosion and colors that fades with smoke. Still these emotions caused by  _him_ brings calmness and ebbing the numb and ice inside of him. He didn't know when it had started, when he start seeing that the other took a large part of him when  _he_ disappears from his radar.

"Just one year left until then." His voice quiet, and an almost peaceful expression slips on his face.

"You've been avoiding me quite well." There isn't a reply, but he knows the other is far away but hasn't left the country to reply to him.

"I wonder what you'll say when we meet..." A bitter smile spread across the man's lips.

The Tree, in Ueno Park, sways it's flowers and branches in the wind. It's anticipating of the year to come.

* * *

_7th Year - Tokyo_

_"Visit Ueno Park, it's the key to your missing memories_ _."_  Kamui sighs, it's been a long time since he's been to Ueno Park. He frowns, it's day, but the cryptic message given to him by his friends is enough to drive him up the wall last night. Making a beeline from the station to the park, he let his footsteps take a path inside the park. He blinks. 

A Tree, in late bloom with pink blossoms and branches sways in the wind. Almost like saying hello to him. It's a beautiful tree, but something about it is haunting. He wasn't sure how long he stay there, but he hears a gasp and he turns around. Mismatched eyes of green and gold widens in surprise shock, mouth slightly agape and the person himself is attractive and dressed in black and in his mid-thirties. Still, he wonders as to why he felt he seen this man before. So without thinking, he says these next few words.

"Hello, have I met you before?"

* * *

 

He's stunned at his sudden return.

He finally returned.

He feels all sorts of emotions, emotions are not required in the current job of is.

Amethyst eyes stared back at him, with confusion embedded with understanding and welcoming and the owner of those eyes relaxed.

"Hello, have I met you before?"

That question alone shouldn't make him feel like the air has been sucked out of him.

* * *

_0 Year - CLAMP Campus_

Kusanagi brings an unconscious Kamui to the campus, he's out of breath but Kamui is the main concern. Kamui's hands had been marked, after setting him down on the hospital bed, Nokoru grimaces at seeing them.

"We should call Sumeragi-sama and explain the situation. We should also see if she could remake the pair of gloves she made for Subaru-san." Nokoru said grimly

"How long?" Yuzuriha asks sadly. It was Yuuto who answered.

"Seven years."

The pentagrams on the back of Kamui's hands glowed faintly in the light once, twice, before blinking out.

* * *

_"If we meet again, I'll be with you for 1 year and you'll have to convince me to stay with you."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. May 2009 - July 2009

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From May 2009 to July 2009, Subaru and Kamui start to adjust to each other, along with the people that care for them. They are a little hesitant about Subaru's presence.
> 
> A/N: Since Toru was the heir of Magami Clan according to X/1999 manga, it'll make sense that those duties will befall to Kamui after the Promised Year is done. I'll also be going through Subaru's struggle with his addiction to smoking, his first hand in smoking a cigarette and his phase with cold turkey, along with his feelings for Seishirou in the next chapter.

"Please don't cry I'm sure   
That I wished for you to do this to me   
And please don't have any regret because we can see each other very soon   
All right?  So don't worry I know for a fact   
That you're not crazy at all" – Gallows Bell by Vocaloid

* * *

_May 2009 - Concern_

The air in his lungs was stolen, but Subaru could barely manage to keep his shock under wraps as his mouth settles into its default frown. Kamui doesn't...

He expected it, he should've expected that this would've happened.

His first initial instinct was to run.

The second was to hit himself seven years ago.

So why does he feel alone?

"Hey," Subaru refocuses on the current situation, and he stills at seeing Kamui, lively violet eyes and filled with concern. "I'm sorry if what I asked earlier had affected you this much."

Kamui shouldn't apologize for not remembering. He shouldn't apologize for not remembering the bond they shared. The fault was...

"It's fine."

Kamui frowns at this, he doesn’t like the way that the man’s shoulders slumped in admission. Taking a shred of courage inside of him, he steps forward to the bi-colored eyed man and gives him a slight smile.

“My name is Shirou Kamui, what’s yours?”

Petals of fallen cherry blossoms flooded the young man’s vision before he made a sound of protest. The magic behind these petals made his vision go dark, and Kamui falls forward and caught in a warm embrace.

_...himself._

* * *

 Subaru had given in the urge to go the coward route. Breath shaky, he holds the unconscious body close. Seven years, it’s been seven long years of dreamless sleep and deeply rooted worry lifted as if it hadn’t been there, only to be replaced by another despair. This Kamui was different. The pain of not being remembered, he pushed that thought away from his mind. Eyeing the gloves encasing Kamui’s hands with mixed emotions.

It was smart for whomever to talk to his grandmother and asking for a pair of enchanted gloves to hid Kamui from him, but Subaru thinks it’s the wrong move for them to direct him back to a Subaru that kills and doesn’t have an anchor. Guilt had taken hold of most of his life, from not doing anything to save Hokuto, to loving, hating, and killing Seishirou, to leaving Kamui and having Kamui branded as a prey for the Tree.

Even now, he can feel the Tree reaching out with bloodlust hunger for the young man in his arms, but he pushes back against that urge. It howled in frustration, branches shaking rapidly, but without reluctant curiosity.

Looking at this Kamui now, he can see the smooth skin, amethyst eyes have a welcoming but wary glow to it that overshadows the pain and suffering compared to seven years ago where it’s blank and swallowed and quieted with thoughts and emotions never spoken out. His skin in a healthier shade of tan, messy chocolate hair a little longer, and body that’s lean, slim but not dangerously to anemic. Unaware that he’s cataloging Kamui’s looks, he almost brushed the younger man’s cheek before hastily stilling it in front of Kamui's face.

This Kamui was notably happier if he was able to smile like _that_ compared to what he managed to do with quieted emotions seven years ago. He bits the inside of his cheek.

He tightens the body in his arms slightly before loosening the grip a little. He’s confused, he’s afraid, and the seven years of missing someone just only furthers that fear.

Kamui should have stayed away from him, to live an almost normal life, to live a happier life.

This _shouldn’t_ have happened at all.

He lets go a trembling breath. It’s not the time to think about what should have happened and what shouldn’t. That can be dwelled in later. He at least owes Kamui his name for the memories stolen from him.

Slowly waking up, Kamui finds himself on a park bench. With a groan, his gloved hand reaches for his eyes to get rid of the sleep dust. Another hand blocks his vision and does it for him. Kamui stills, amethyst eyes tracing the limb and he sees a black trench coat, and bi-colored eyes that look at him in concern.

“My name Sumeragi Subaru, I just found you on the bench pass out.” “I’m not going to faint again, am I?” Words collided against one and another, and both men stared at each other with bewilderment.

“…no.”

“O-ok.”

* * *

_June 2009 – Awkwardness_

To Subaru, meeting Kamui for the first time in seven years left him with an awkwardness that’s been riddled with guilt and confused feelings. After making sure the former leader of Ten No Ryu is physically fine, he sent the other home. He dwells into thoughts that don’t help his mood nor cease those sleepless dreams. In those dreams, it’s a vast endless black.

In the morning, he wakes up to feeling a little energized and leaving the apartment through the window tends to be the optional route. The orange that peak over the skyline of buildings, and the coffee keeps him awake from thoughts that slip through his defenses. One of his habits, smoking, lingers in the back of his mind and before coming back to his apartment he bought a pack of Mild 7 and left it in his coat pocket untouched. It’s not the feeling of haunted, but the feeling of nostalgia the fills his being. Mind going back to amethyst eyes, his brow furrows at this, shows a soul that bloomed and…

_Can I take a piece of your sanctuary?_

He shakes his head. That one meeting with Kamui is enough, he shouldn’t seek out the other. His thoughts in jumbled, he couldn’t control them.

_Can I take your smile away?_

Kamui doesn’t remember him, and that should be enough burdened. That should be less painful to admit, but it gives a dull ache inside of him that’s difficult to pry away from.

Does _he_ have any right to be in Kamui’s life again?

He knows that’s a definite no.

Does he have any right to continue whatever they were doing, to try and find out to prevent the end result of either he or Kamui being six feet underground and ruining any chances of gaining happiness due to his own selfishness?

He’s uncertain about the answer and future of it.

Does Kamui _need_ him?

He’s afraid of that answer and had sent turmoil to his mind.

In order to ease his mind, Subaru, despite his better judgment, decides to go to Ueno Park and wait and meditate there.

It doesn’t work, his eyes keep searching, looking at the routes towards the Sakura Tree, where people come in and out through the park. Not one, interest him. Waiting turns to minutes, and then hours and he feels a bit disappointed. He’s not waiting for someone specifically. The tree ate last night and hasn’t bothered him. The tree branches flow with the wind as if enjoying itself from the breeze. Yet he feels disappointed. Subaru sighs, and lets his feet take him aimlessly through the concrete jungle.

He doesn’t expect his feet to take him to a bookstore, nor watching a woman with chocolate hair like Kamui’s to kiss the back of a man’s- He blinks, the man is Kamui and something cold flares within him at what the woman is currently doing. He waits until she leaves, and walks to Kamui with a blank face but stomach gnawing at seeing a woman who he doesn’t know of is this close to his – what they have isn’t what people normally called friends – acquaintance.

“Who is she?” Subaru watches as Kamui jumps in his seat and swivels around to look at him in surprise. Realizing it’s the man he met days ago, Kamui relaxes.

“She’s part of my family. She was talking to me about some family stuff, Subaru-san.” Another difference, Kamui _normally_ wouldn’t call Subaru with an honorific, he was simply Subaru to Kamui. Subaru inwardly flinches at this, unfamiliar with the way he’s been addressed by a person he deemed as a kin.

“Do you need something, Subaru-san?” Amethyst eyes looked at him, open with curiosity and unguarded by the brilliance of life in them. Subaru is surprised that he didn’t realize how the light in the young man’s eyes seems brighter than seven years ago and he hesitates. He opened his mouth as to say ‘We shouldn’t meet up anymore’, what actually came out was…

“Do you want to meet up again?” Both blink and Kamui blink twice and stares because it’s _Subaru_ that’s asking.

“I-uh-yeah, sure. When and where do you want to meet up?”

“Two days from now, at Papermoon café for lunch. I’m busy tomorrow, and the day after.” It was abated breath, and then silence, and Subaru thinks he shouldn’t have proposed such a thing when Kamui smiled slightly at him.

“Ok.”

It was after that one smile and that next meeting; Subaru couldn’t find it within himself to want to drop the routine. 

* * *

If someone asked, Kamui wouldn’t say that the first meeting was awkward. He would probably wouldn’t say how he felt either, given what happened to Kotori, Fuuma, and somewhat strain but going well friendship with Sotaru. From these experiences, it’s ok to say that he’s wary of even thinking of offering an olive branch to start in a new one.

He doesn’t deny the feeling of déjà vu nor the feeling of familiarity around the Sumeragi who is dressed in all black, and looking at him as if he’s…he sighs, he isn’t sure what’s on the other’s mind but it almost looks like it’s halfway between cautious and concealed worried. Lips thinned in thinking, he knows that Sumeragi would mean that Subaru and Sotaru are related in some way. That the thought of calling an admirer is no less awkward than instilling hope in the green-eyed man, asking about a relative is no less awkward.

After the first meeting, that was filled with awkward and concern, Kamui doesn’t expect to meet the mysterious Sumeragi Subaru again. He certainly doesn’t expect to bump into Subaru in a bookstore and asked to meet up with him two days later, or making these meetings weekly. Their conversation topics either stems from Subaru asking which part of Japan had he traveled to, in what he’ll like to do in his career as a whole – he still hasn’t decided yet. Yet, nothing of those conversations is about Subaru himself. When he asked Subaru with questions such as ‘what do you do?’, ‘where you are from?’, or ‘what do you like to?’ was either answered by short sentences or silences. Those silences make Kamui feel frustrated – it’s been a month since that first meeting! -, because he’s getting nowhere with answers to his questions about missing memories, that the progress of whatever is going on is stilted to a halt, and that Subaru is closing up inside himself to answer as well. Kamui could have waited, but he isn’t known for his patience. It was a certain improvement from nine years ago, but he still considers himself impatient. It was after a couple of meetings later, that he decided to ask subtly, which means bluntly.

“Subaru-san,” Kamui frowns at the way the said man’s bicolored eyes dimmed with resignation and almost backtracks but decides against it. “do I make you feel uncomfortable?”

You can hear a pin drop despite the number of people quietly enjoying themselves in small conversations with drinks or a book around them. When the silence prolonged, Kamui’s confidence wan. “I-I mean, I could ask a different q-question if it’s ok with you. I-it’s ok if you don’t want to answer, w-we could always talk about something else, b-but I-I want to get to know you and you clammed up and it f-frustrates and drives me insane and I-if you want to s-st” A gloved hand touches his cheek, he feels his eyes widen as a dawning realization of mild horror – he hasn’t stuttered like that for a long while – and that he’s staring at Subaru, whose eyes are currently glowing from the earlier dimmed. Subaru isn’t smiling, but it takes, if not, all his breath away. Pink bleached onto his cheeks as he realizes he’s been staring far too long and begins to move his mouth to say something when Subaru does it for him.

“You have the right to ask those questions, Kamui. I was hesitant to answer them.” He swallows at this, it’s an admission, a start, but still, it gives him no answers. His hand twitched in wanting to do something but doesn’t think that acting like a schoolgirl in cloud nine is a good idea.

“When you are ready then. I’ll still like to get to know you.” Subaru blinks, tilts his slightly and a corner of his mouth twitches.

“Of course.”

* * *

 “Subaru-san found him?” Karen asked, watching as her daughter sleeps in her room from the bed.

“Imnoyama-san informed me.” Yuuto said, watching Karen with a thoughtful frown. Her fingers card through their daughter’s hair as if to comfort herself.

A pause.

“Did Kamui-kun told you anything?” Karen didn’t still in her continuing action in luring their daughter to further sleep, but her shoulder tenses.

“No, he hadn’t. I don’t blame him for not telling me anything. I just…we knew this day would come. That either he or Subaru-san will meet…” Her voice cracks and Yuuto walks over, encircle his arms around her and threads his fingers through her hair. He kissed her hair and gaze adoringly at their daughter, the life both of them were able to make.

“Shh…” Karen leans back into Yuuto’s body, feels the warmth and comfort and soaks it up, takes a few calming breaths.

“We will eventually have to tell Kamui about Subaru-san, Yuu-kun.” She can feel his arms tighten around her slightly.

“I know, and I’ll be there with you Karen-chan. Now, let’s go to sleep. We’ll talk with the others about it in the morning.” Yuuto said, giving a kiss to Karen’s neck and she hummed. Her hand retracted from her daughter’s hair.

“Ok.”

* * *

_July 2009 – Puzzle Pieces_

Getting to know someone is much like putting puzzle pieces together, or adding little details into a painting but still finding surprising details every once in a while. At least that’s what Kamui is currently feeling about Subaru. There is something about the man in dark clothes that mystifies Kamui, eyes of two different color that holds secrets. Even so, a nagging feeling deep with him that spoke he knew of him but he couldn’t recall. He knows the little details, simple tidbits of information such as favorite food like burger, and that while Subaru is gentle and kind, he doesn’t smile.

 _Can I make you smile at all?_ He blinks at the sudden thought, it nearly makes him trip on the tatami floor of his clan’s compound in Aomori. The weight of the yearning is startling itself. He never thought that the question had sprouted after two months of meeting Subaru.

“Kamui-sama?” A servant, with brown hair and blue eyes, looked over her shoulder and staring at him with concern and Kamui rights himself. He shakes his head, he had to do this, to meet the elders. It’ll soon be time for his role to play, despite the major role of his part in Promised Day over.

“I’m fine, thank you.” The Magami servant stared at him for awhile, before nodding and continue to lead him.

“Before you meet the elders, you have a guest waiting for you.” He blinks, and he was lead into a spare room. Arashi stood in full Miko clothing, Kamui is slightly stunned to see her in her uniform and beauty.

“Arashi?” The reserved woman smiled at Kamui gently.

“Hello, Kamui. Can I speak to you alone?” He paused, Arashi wasn’t there when he argued at Karen, went stock stiff at hearing the truth from her and feeling betrayed. Everyone knows Subaru but him, and though he was hurt, he listened. He stayed. He never left…His thoughts stopped there. Arashi doesn’t deserve his snappish attitude, but she…she knew all along.

“Is this about Subaru-san?”

“Yes.” Arashi answered. She paused before continuing into a landmine with some hesitation.

“You know we only did what we thought what was best for you.”

“By lying to me?! You told me you were the ones that helped when it’s Subaru-san all along?!” Kamui angrily asked, the stung of being lied like this was fresh.

“It was to protect you. Subaru-san isn’t the same as he used to be. We all changed during this event.” Arashi replied, evenly and calm.

“Have you changed as well?” Kamui shouldn’t feel a little vindictive at Arashi flinching at this question, but he does.

“We don’t have to like the change, that doesn’t mean we cannot adjust to it.” The Miko said softly, and the feeling of vindictive pleasure was gone and replaced with a grim reminder that it wasn’t just Kamui or Arashi that changed from the Promise Day. He must have grimaced when Arashi continued, a bit softly than before.

“Kamui, Subaru-san is a dangerous person now. Please be on your guard.” Kamui tensed at this question, he doesn’t want to say the answer and in the process lose his friends but he doesn’t want to lose the remaining link to his lost memories.

“And what if I can’t stop?” He whispered. Arashi inhales a breath before taking his hand in hers. Even though he is wearing gloves, he can feel the warmth and the tenderness in her hands. She rubs her thumb on the back of his hand, pretending the cloth isn’t there and she feels and gives the comfort of the skin beneath it with her own skin.

“…we won’t hide from you, but we'll help you through it. You should talk to Karen, she’s very upset.” Arashi said with a soft smile, Kamui blinks. Arashi answered but not what he expected. It warms him that his friends will stay behind him, with him, through this decision.

“I will.” Arashi’s eyebrow was raised, and Kamui rolled his eyes. “When I’m ready.”

“Of course.” There was a comfortable silence before Kamui’s presses a question to Arashi that’s been nagging him, and he hadn’t dared voiced it out until now due to his track record of love interests.

“How can you tell if Sorata was the one?” Arashi looks at him sharply, eyes wide.

“Kamui…are you-?” A sharp knock cuts through the Miko's question, and both of them tensed.

“Kamui-sama, my apologies for the interruption, but the elders cannot wait anymore.” The servant from the hallway called, Kamui looks back at Arashi, swallows down the dryness before he opens his mouth.

“I have to go.” Arashi stares at him, shoulders slumping a bit and she gives him a small smile.

“I’ll wait.”

* * *

 Subaru finds Kamui as an incomplete puzzle portrait. Not exactly broken, but not exactly complete either. Every time a puzzle piece fits into a slot, Subaru finds there are more spaces and more questions he’s been dying to ask. Places where Kamui went over the seven years, food that he tried, his new hobbies, but nothing about what he thinks about Subaru.

To him, he’s willing to leave it at that. Leave the puzzle space empty and hopefully never put together into the portrait. Of a Subaru that woke him up, a Subaru that’s been a close friend of understanding what Kamui had gone through, of a Subaru that abandoned him, and of a Subaru that urges Kamui to realizes his wish from the other side before it was too late. Subaru willingly keeps those hidden pieces away, unwilling to let go of them and be returned to their owner.

Those puzzle pieces were never meant to be found, they were never meant to be discovered either. That’s all right with him. He doesn’t want to know what happens if Kamui remembers him. He’s willing to be the only one that remembers their interaction before everything changed between them. For two weeks, he had been busy with other tasks and didn’t make to the meetings as he said so in the texts sent to Kamui. Each text felt familiar and each text felt comforting and understanding, and Subaru wonders if he should do a surprise visit to Kamui when he had the free time.

He should’ve known that it was only wishful thinking that his past history with Kamui would not be discovered. That Kamui wouldn’t be home when Subaru did visit from the address Kamui given to him when they were switching contacts.

“I find it surprising that you are at Kamui-kun’s door.” Yuuto said from Kamui’s balcony door. Dressed in a blue shirt and white jeans. He stares at the figure in black, doesn’t judge why the other hasn’t been seen in seven years.

“This is Kamui’s apartment.” Subaru stated, eyes narrowing at Yuuto, to which the blond raised an amused eyebrow.

“I’m just house-sitting for the time being while he’s over at the Magami Clan house.” Yuuto said flippantly. Subaru doesn’t move, merely folds his arms and stares Yuuto as if he’s an intruder. The watermaster remains unaffected by his stare and hands him a cup of water.

“Would you like some water?” Subaru’s eyes flickered to the offered glass, before looking back at Yuuto.

“No thank you.” He said curtly. “Shouldn’t you be with your wife?” Yuuto chuckled at this.

“Sending me away after the first meeting we have for several years? I admit I am disappointed.” Yuuto said pleasantly.

“Why are you here?” Yuuto ignores the brisk tone in the former head of the Sumeragi’s voice, drinking the cup of water.

“By the way, Karen-chan is doing well. As to why I’m here, I’ve already told you. I’m house sitting for him.” Yuuto sets the cup on the coffee table, brown eyes look at Subaru with curiosity.

“Though I do have a more pressing question I would like to ask, why is the famed Sakura Assassin looking for Kamui-kun?” Subaru tilts his head, doesn’t deign to answer Yuuto’s question. A smirk creeps up the water master’s lips.

“Of course you don’t have to answer that question, you are much like your own predecessor. Quiet, observing, territorial…” Countless petals of sakura flutter into the room.

“I dare you to finish that sentence.” Subaru hissed at him, Yuuto eyes the cherry blossoms shimmering in the room, and sighs. He gives Subaru a smile.

“No need to get worked up, just merely pointing out.” Yuuto said with a friendly smile, Subaru doesn’t move away but the sakura stop flowing into the room.

“Besides, you don’t need to answer that question. In fact, that’s not the question I wanted to ask either. That one was to merely satisfy my curiosity.” Subaru tenses.

“Once Kamui-kun remembers in next May, will you kill him or will you let him kill you in order to gain your happiness?” Subaru stills at this. Narrows his eyes at Yuuto.

“The outcome will only be between Kamui and me, you or any others have no right to be part of it.” Yuuto blinks at him and scoffs.

“That may be true, but we, the others and I, treasure Kamui-kun. Ideally, we would like to see his and your happiness come true.” Yuuto straightens up and gives the Sakura Assassin a razor sharp grin. “If you break Kamui-kun, I won’t hesitate to join in with Karen-chan in extinguishing that tree of yours.” Subaru grips his gloved hands.

“Is that a threat?” Yuuto’s grin widens.

“It’s a promise.” Subaru scoffs at this.

“I would be concerned if it wasn’t.” Yuuto grin shrinks as he begins to leave the apartment.

“I thought you were house sitting.” Yuuto pauses his way to the front door, tosses the spare key was given to him by Kamui into the air, before throwing them to Subaru who caught it.

“I was. While Kamui-kun does not have a preference of people he knows of make entrance in his apartment, I think you would need one. Besides if Kamui-kun comes back, I sure you guys have a lot to talk about.” Yuuto said cryptically and left with a jaunty wave.

Five minutes runs towards six minutes before Subaru forces his body to relax. He eyes the calendar sitting innocently on the countertop table that marks the month of July 2009.

 _‘Two weeks…’_  

* * *

_Two weeks later…_

Kamui sighed as he opens the door. His shoulder and neck are killing him from the carry on bag and sleeping in awkward positions during the traveling. He drags himself in with the small suitcase before closing the door behind him. The door clicks with an audible shut.

“Tadaima.” Kamui whispers quietly, he didn’t expect to hear back a reply. He _didn’t_ shriek at all when that reply came in.

“Okaeri.” Eyes wide awake, and homing onto Subaru, staring at him in surprise.

“Subaru-san.” Kamui breathes. He’s the only other person that occupies his mind when he was over at the main house of the Magami clan last week.

“How’s…your trip?” Subaru asks, carefully choosing his words. Kamui frowns slightly.

“It’s fine. Um, Subaru-san, can we talk?” Subaru inclines his head in a nod to yes. Kamui swallows the nervous feeling and hopes he doesn’t scare of Subaru badly with this question.

“Are you the Sakurazukamori?” Subaru freezes, and Kamui winced. The older man looks like he wants to bolt. _So much for the warm welcome._

“I have to know, cause I really don’t care if you are the-” Subaru watches in horror as Kamui stops continuing his sentence and sways on the spot before falling over. He rushes to catch him, watches as violet eyes grow dazed before coming to its bright shine and blinks.

“Subaru-san, what happened?” Subaru releases the breath that he didn’t he was holding and held the other in an embrace he never thought he longed for the two weeks Kamui wasn’t there.

“You fainted, please do not scare me like that.” Kamui tenses, relax and awkwardly pats the other’s back.

“Ok.”

_Was this what Seishirou-san seeing whenever I remember something?_


End file.
